Spousal Secrets

As I stated yesterday, my wife, Sara, wrote an essay s how she felt about the experiment so far. It's weird how similar the points made there are to Steve Pavlina's wife's comments. However, when I asked my wife directly, she told me she had never read any Pavlina...

There are some distinct characteristics (she was a little more concerned), but there are similarities.

Anyway, here it is, with some minor editing.

-sean


Sara the Ployphasic Sleep Widow

Okay, it’s not really that bad. In truth, due to my work schedule, we couldn’t sleep next to one another if we wanted to. Yet somehow I felt like I lost a little bit of my husband to this crazy experiment.

To explain what I mean by this, I must first explain a little bit about us. We are outwardly a quiet and normal couple. I mean, we both have shared likes and hobbies to spend good times together. In turn, we each have our own separate hobbies to enjoy time apart. Sometimes, as in shared activities, being apart can cause problems with one or the both of us.

For me, polyphasic sleeping is one such example of being apart. After I heard about this hair-brained scheme, I was a little scared what this might do to him (physically, and mentally) or to us. He explained exactly what poyphasic sleep was, the possible risks, and the total lack of research on the subject. And to be honest, I was scared. I knew I could not do this with him. I can not function, nor do I desire to, in such a state of sleep deprivation. But yet I love him. I told myself long ago that I would never be “that woman.” The one that controls everything around her, most especially her spouse. He is his own person, and for that, I say if this makes you happy, do it.

So his journey began. As expected, quite rocky. But only for him. There were no increased incidents in fights between us, no missed opportunities due to his strict sleeping schedule. It was only at the very beginning, before we had worked out what “works,” that I at all was unhappy about the “sleeping separation.” He, by his own choice, would nap in on the spare bed, to keep from disturbing my sleep.

Now, call me selfish, but I like to cuddle. We both do. I like to sleep next to my husband. So when he started this, I didn’t get that. It took a little time, but it appears we have worked it out. Life is better.

Other things I didn’t really expect, but make sense: Mostly in the beginning, but still today, I became a sitter. Now, most naps I’m not there, but when I am, I assist in any way I can. Usually, by being the alarm. Sometimes it is mis-set. Sometimes he just sleeps through it. So I wake him up. In some cases, primarily in the beginning, he also needed help staying awake. This was mostly needed in car trips. In any case, I feel needed. It’s good to be needed.

Looking back over this Crazy experiment (and I do mean Crazy, but not in a negative way), I have realized a few things. It is possible to function like this; you’re not just a mindless zombie sleeping so little, though you must find the right sleeping schedule for your own needs. It did take time for Sean. Another thing was it takes a lot of will power to change from mono to polyphasic. It is difficult and sometimes scary to watch someone go through this. It is even still scary, but the unknown always is. I must also say I am very proud to see him succeed at this. He has put so much into it. Now he is finally reaping the benefits of it: more time outside of work-eat-sleep.

So far this for me has been an interesting experience. Not bad, not really good, just okay. It at least has given us new insight into a world I didn’t even know existed. And even though I felt at the beginning I might have lost some bit of my husband, I didn’t really. He has been here all along -- just a little sleepy.